Reader Discussion

Sabrina writes:

Am loving these round ups, diving through the archives is fun and it’s nice to have something to do on my very slow Fridays!

Usoki replies:

Agreed! I hope this means that Alison has decided to make this an official Friday feature.

Box of Rain writes:

Whenever I see things like this: “You didn’t steal the job out from under him” (from I’m attending a conference with a dude who won’t talk to me) I always wonder what Grayson was told in the time leading up to the posting and interview.

Speaking as someone who has been told for over a year that I’m the one getting a position that had yet to be posted, then when it was posted while I was on medical leave (I still applied), I was passed over in favor of an outside candidate — you can’t know what was said to Grayson. Incidentally, that outside candidate 100% lied/misled the hiring manager about their skills, so much so that they’re hiring for a second person in the role, which should be posted on Monday.

soontoberetired writes:

I really want to know what happened with the boss who won’t speak to her employees and doesn’t like “Please.”

Regina Phalange writes:

Still dying for an update on the cousin who tried Rachel Dolezal-ing herself into a job!

Potato Potato replies:

Same!

Slow Gin Lizz replies:

Me too! I came here on Monday specifically to ask this!

Usoki writes:

The letter about the person who is reading her boss’s emails always throws me for a loop. Not because I can’t relate to the temptation — that part, I understand even though we probably all agree it is a bad thing to do. I just can’t imagine the boss allowing his employees to have access to his email like that!

Every IT security course I have ever taken is very clear about how giving away your login information is the worst thing you could ever do, ever. I can’t imagine being so blasé about other people sending emails with my name and reputation attached. That said, while I have risen fairly high up in the ranks at my office, I’m not a manager — nor do I work in an office where it is common for managers to have dedicated assistants. I also work in an industry that handles a lot of PII, so the stakes are higher in that regard. Maybe this is a common event in some office cultures but not others?

allathian replies:

It would be unthinkable in mine. We used to have role-based emails to which people would be granted access as needed; these have been replaced by a ticketing system. The only person who has an assistant is our biggest big boss. The assistant has access to his email so that she can keep an eye on his inbox and write emails in his name, but using her own login. I assume that the system tracks who does what in that email account.

Using someone else’s login is a potentially fireable offense both for the person who intentionally or through negligence let someone else use their login, and for the person who misused someone else’s login.

Boom Boom Room writes:

I am really fascinated reading the affair letter (#1) again — very little was noted about the affair happening between a boss and a direct report. I remember reading it the first time and now again and thinking it doesn’t matter what the boss’s marriage agreement is, because this is an affair in the chain of command. This is an issue you’d want to bring to HR, right? The idea of being able to compartmentalize is still valid, but I keep thinking it would be an immediate trip to HR for me to show them the evidence.

Bathyphysa Conifera replies:

It’s unknown whether the affair partner is his direct report — she could be in another chain. The original letter writer is his direct report.

Even if the affair partner is his direct report, the letter writer is allowed to look out for herself. It might be quite clear who in the office was best positioned to notice, and if HR doesn’t care, or delivers him only a firm talking-to, getting rid of the letter writer looks like the easiest solution for both of them. She could lose her job, or be made so uncomfortable that she feels forced to quit.

These revisited letters continue to spark lively debate, reflecting how workplace situations involving promotions, email access, and relationships in the chain of command remain complicated — and rarely have simple answers.