It’s a special “where are you now?” season at Ask a Manager, featuring updates from people who had their letters answered in the past. Here are five updates from past letter-writers.
1. The founder’s nephew took over, and things are bad
First of all, thank you so much for your initial response. It was very helpful, basically making me realize that I wasn’t being crazy and this was in fact a ridiculous situation.
Overall, the company hasn’t changed much. We’re still losing clients. Eddie, the sales manager, is still being wildly ambitious. Jack, the COO, is beginning to panic, asking me to do more to placate his cousin Eddie, while complaining about costs. Eddie continues to float his impractical plans. An example of how this place is run: We finally closed down a minor product line when the last client cancelled. One of the salesmen asked me to continue producing it anyway because he has been giving it away for FREE to his church. I didn’t even bother responding.
What has changed is me! I am doing my job but I realized I can’t make these people happy or save the company, so I’m no longer spending excessive time or energy on it. I am being more forthright: when I’m given a new task, I say, “Okay. I will do Task Y but that means I have to cut back on Task X.” It frustrates Jack, but ultimately he gives in.
Best of all, I told Jack that with all the extra work I’m going, I needed a raise. He grumbled but gave me a good raise. I think deep down he knows he can’t afford to lose me. I’m in my early sixties and we have lots of savings and my wife’s pension, so if this job ends it’s not a disaster. Thanks again.
2. My employee has a suspicious spot on their hand
I took your advice and told my direct report that I noticed the spot, that it looked similar to something I had, and that my doctor recommended that I get it checked out. Turns out he already knew that it might be something but never bothered to go to the doctor and ask.
He thanked me for my concern and said that would be the nudge he needed to go do something about it. He ended up putting in notice a month or so later for completely unrelated reasons (a combination of RTO and his partner accepting a job across country) so I haven’t been able to find out what became of it.
I’m hoping he actually did go to the doctor and it ended up being nothing! He and I were pretty close, so if it ends up being an issue I’m sure I’ll hear about it. But no news is good news as far as I’m concerned.
3. My company is ignoring my reimbursement form after laying me off
My update is that I was never reimbursed. Your recommendation was to call, which was good advice, but I never actually called. I tried one more generic HR email and no one responded and I just let it drop. Soon after I sent in my letter, I quickly began interviewing for multiple jobs and that became all-consuming. I received an offer and became too busy settling into my new job to worry about it anymore.
I knew my emails weren’t going to spam because I was replying to email threads sent to my personal address with documentation after I was laid off. It felt very intentional and just another reflection of how dysfunctional and toxic that workplace was. I also had no desire to ever communicate with my manager there again.
Some commenters mentioned I should not have agreed to pay out of pocket to ship my laptop back but that didn’t feel feasible at the time. I was forced to sign a very strict NDA. I very much needed my severance pay and did not feel like I was in a position to negotiate anything.
All’s well that ends well though — I am very happy in my new position and very, very glad to no longer work for that dysfunctional place. You often say that it’s hard for people in a toxic environment to recognize it and that’s very true. I never would have left on my own but now that they forced me out I am so thankful. I’m really okay with losing $30 and have moved on.
4. My coworker makes passive-aggressive comments about my hybrid schedule
Your advice was very helpful! I decided to take the first path — “pointedly cheerful” and “pointedly unconcerned” — with my passive-aggressive coworker. He stopped asking questions and making comments about my work location. It hasn’t prevented him from stopping by my desk to complain or point out “problems” he has discovered at work. I have gotten into the habit of answering these interruptions with a blunt, “I’m busy right now and can’t talk,” which doesn’t deter him. Your advice did help me handle what I found to be his most irritating (and creepy) characteristic, though, so I consider it a big win.
5. Does my boss need to know I’m battling with our health insurance?
I did not tell my boss about my insurance drama (although I did notify the head of benefits), and I did receive full reimbursement (to the tune of just under $7,000) for my prosthetic eye on second-level appeal. It was a several-month process, and they actually processed the actual reimbursement wrong (marking it as experimental) after overturning the denial at least four times, and I applied the returned money towards buying a house last spring!
To anyone dealing with insurance, I would recommend (1) checking out ProPublica’s information request tool and (2) simply continuing to follow up on issues, in writing, as far as you need to go.
